If I go into The Darkness.

An adhesive band-aid may cover up the scar but it doesn't heal it.
They do care, they really do.
I know I care although sometimes I know I don't want to.
You shut people out. You don't want them to care.
My life is filled with constant pain.
I always feel so over dramatic writing about these things.
Surely my pain doesn't matter.
Only other people's pain matters, not mine.
Surely people are going through worse, this can't be that bad.
Why is this such a big deal?
Why do you over react about it.
Do you not have your own issues to worry about?
Doesn't everyone self harm. Doesn't everyone think these thoughts.
Would I not be in more pain if someone died?
Would I even care if someone died?

The answer is no.
Not everyone thinks these thoughts.
They do not over react.
As much as I think it's not it is a big deal.
My life does matter in some way or another, this must be true. Surely it must.
I would be in pain if someone died.
But I deal with pain easily it would just be another scar to add to the collection.
Unless I soon realise this is a big deal and believe it truly I will go on suffering this pain.
I need to see that I do matter but at the moment it is not so obvious.
At the moment I feel as if I don't matter.
Why would God care about me?
Why would anyone care about me?
I'm sure I wouldn't care about me.